Rules for humans living at one of the TF bases
by Starbees
Summary: A story of me and my friend from DA of what to do and not to do at one of the transformers bases
1. Chapter 1

An: okay this is a how to thing me and my friend on DA is going to be. We'll be doing 5 for each base. We don't own TF but we wish :D

Decepticon base:

1) Don't bother Megatron or make him mad- unless you have a death wish- just don't talk to him at all

We tried to bother him but we ended up getting a workout trying to dodge his fires of his fusion cannon. So just don't do that

2) Don't mess up Knockouts paint job- unless you want to loose a limb

Someone got a chip in his paint. We all had nightmares for weeks of what happen to that poor soul. His hair will never the same. SO DON'T MESS KNOCKOUTS PAINTJOB!

3) Never mess with sound wave. He's a ninja in disguise.

We tried to hacked his computer but he found us somehow and you don't want to be stared down but the motor face bot, its like he's staring into your soul. Another time we finally tried to see if he had porn on his computer and yet again he was soul staring at us

4) Never play a song over and over again-unless you want to end up in the medbay and have an broken ipod or mp3 player or CD.

One time someone played the Nyan Cat song over and over again. They end up in there for weeks and their MP3 Player was used as target practice.

5) Never and we mean NEVER, try to convince a Vehicon to give you a ride around base.

Once, we all tried to jump onto one while it was walking.. Well, we weren't allow near the Vehicons for weeks after THAT incident

Autobot base

1) Do not and we mean do not steal anything from Ratchet, you'll never know when he might need that.

One time Sunstreaker and Sideswipe had took one of ratchets favourite wrenches. We found them welded to the wall by their afts. They had HUGE dents.

2) Never go into Optimus Prime's office uninvited. EVER!

We found things that we don't want to see in a million years. We still have nightmares of what we saw.

3) If you hear sounds from the medbay or a bots room NEVER EVER GO INTO THE ROOM!

We've seen things you only HEARD.. Trust us, as much as it's awesome, the bots will hate you.

4) Never bother Ironhide about using one of his weapons

Usually he'll let you….Then you get in major trouble for blowing a hole in the wall or you'll get a trip to the medbay.

5) Never get the bots drunk

One of us almost got eaten.. It's not fun almost getting nommed on by Optimus Prime.

An: please review if you like the story me and my friend love friendly review.


	2. Chapter 2

An: wow we didn't think well get this many reviews even though there was two. Me and my friends don't own tf but we wish we did ;D one of my friend owned muse and Illusion and the green minicon. Illusion can go invisible

Autobot base

6) do not annoy the bot name muse.

He'll start acting like a snobby teenage femme, who's daddy didn't give her what she wants when you upset him. Even though it's funny just don't

7) DON'T ANNOY RATCHET!

If you do you'll end up with a wrench upside the head and if cybertronian have your aft welded to the wall, just like the lambo twins who we think is still there

8) DON'T call Sunstreacker Sunny

If you do, you might A get squished or b find something painted on your face in the moring. one of us still can't get sunny paint off our face

9) DON'T prank the lambo twins!

Unless you want to get schooled in pranking. Cause one of us pranked the, they ended up dying one of our hairs and it wasn't a nice colour that they chosen.

10) don't playhide and seek with illu,

rehe'll always win. we still can't find him, its been over a week or was it a month now. Anyway we can hear his chuckling and can't find him anywhere.

Decepticon base

6) Never trust the green minicon

matter who adorable this minicon is, don't trust him. trust up hes wayyyyy too untrustworthy and will squeeze information out of you with his kawaiii optics

7) NEVER call a minicon short

You'll lose a limb, I saw one of the vehicons call one short stuffs and the venison lost an arm and a pede

8) NEVER ask starscream for a puppy

Even if you really want one or use it against an autobot wepond specailist, just don't as you'll get a bigg fat no

9) DON'T call breakdown a pirate

One time we called breakdown a pirate now one of us is wearing an eyepatch

10) NEVER EVER steal megsys bunny slippers. EVER

Ever though megsys slippers are cute, comfy and warm, he'll go onto a ramppage and you'll end up in the medbay with a unhappy knockout

An: me and my friends loves friendly reviews so please review if you like this story


	3. Chapter 3

An: we thank you so much for your reviews and fav alerts and follows. We sadly don't own tranformers but we wish ;3 Redblaze is my friend. Muse is another friend . Crossfire is mine

Decepticon base

11) Never call megatron a vampire

One of us did call him that. Then Megsy tried to suck the blood out of the poor soul but now the soul is hiding under my bed, shaking crazily

12) Don't go hiding under one of the decepticon's berth

One time, we did hide under the berth.. We heard some, ahem, things we shouldn't. thank primus we weren't found

13) no sneaking into Knockout's medcial bay

one time we did and saw things we shouldn't of seen….. yet again.

14)No and we mean NO going into megsy room

We went in there we saw things that were funny like his teddy bear and bunny slippers. and other things that we don't want to see. What is with us and bad timing we do not know

15)

Autobot base

11) NEVER go into Wheeljacks lab

There is a HUGE risk like things being blown up, the switching of your gender or getting really hurt

12) NEVER EVER eat a doughnut in front of prowl

One of us was eating one in front of him and we had to run for our lifes to finish eating it cause he wanted the doughnut. So now we have to hide them in case he's around and one of our friends said he was flipping tables trying to find them

13) Never ever disturb Crossfire when she is listening to music

One of us did and she acted like muse does if you bug him. A snobby teenage rich girl who's daddy didn't get her what she want. It was all because it was her favourite song

14) Don't go into Redblaze's room after 10pm

Cause one of us did and the HORROR we saw!

15) Never ever go Fangirl on the Autobots

When one of us did, we were shut away in the brig for 10 hours… We apparently got too annoying and some of the bots are now scared of us.

An: please give nice reviews ;D we love nice reviews


	4. Chapter 4

AN: thank you for the reviews and favs and alerts. This might be least funny cause they person I do this with isn't talking to me ;( but I hope its still funny for ya. We don't own transformers but we wish we did :D Poisonblaze is mine and a friends oc

Decepticons

16) Never ever have doughnuts on base….. Yet again

You think prowls bad when he wants doughnuts… well think again barricade is two times worst then prowl. Instead of trying to catch you and flipping over tables…. He starts shooting at random, now we're hiding in our rooms with barricade pacing about by our door wanting the doughnuts we have

17) Never ever steal Knockouts's wax

He'll have a HUGE hissy fit, smashing and shooting things or so we were told when we went into hiding with the wax. We still have it and there's a lot of loud sounds of anger

18) Never ever video tape megsy singing in the wash rack

It's the HORROR seeing him armourless…. But it's worth hearing him singing Justin beiber songs or how high his voice can go. But run like the pits when he finds out and is chasing you down the hallway with nothing but a towel

19) Never ever dress as an autobot for Halloween

Unless you want a total death wish. Trust us its not fun being shot at or trying not get stepped on by one of them

20) Never ever play videos games with the cons

Some are good at them and brag about winning …..starscream or be sore losers and starts shooting at the tv or gaming system. We lose count on how many TVS and gaming systems we lost because megsy is a total sore loser and blows them up

Autobots

16) Never ever show the bots your pet scraplettes

They will run and shoot at you… or scream like a little femme and shoot at you in bulkheads case

17) Never ever call Poisonblaze short. EVER!

If you a mech you'll get hit so hard that you grandchildren or great grandchildren will feel it if you know what I mean. If femme you'll get a wrench upside the helm cause she knows wrench foo and she's Ratchets mate.

18) Never make a sparkling cry, even if you didn't mean to make them cry

The parents will be very upset with you and might want to hurt you…. Yeah we're not allow near very many sparklings after what happen the one time

19) Never steal Bumblebee's teddy bear

Even though his pout is adorable he'll get very upset with you and won't talk to you again. He still not talking to one of us

20) NEVER and we mean NEVER EVER tell prowl or red alert your carrying their sparklings

Ever though its funny to see how they will react to when you tell them. Like red freaking out and prowl glitching out. You'll end up hours on end at the med bay with ratchet scanning you and red and prowl very upset with you

An: please review but not flames. We don't like flamers and flames are for cooking stuff


	5. Chapter 5

An: thank you for the reviews and favs. Im now open if you have any rules :D I don't own tf but I wish I did. Autobot-mayday is helping me while im getting slow messages form my usually parter on this story but she is helping once again :D

Autobot

21) Never, EVER call sunny 'the dandelion of doom' then quickly change the subject to how his paint sucks then say I LOVE YOU SUNNY.

He WILL try to kill you. And if that doesn't work he will try to step on you and try to randomly shoot you. One of us did and it didn't end up too well. Just don't do that

22) Never call sideswipe the red hellion.

JUST DON'T One of us got tackled... He ended up in the medbay for a month.

23) NEVER EVER call ratchet hatchet

Even though the name is absolutely perfect for him, just don't you don't want to feel the wrath of the wrench and wrench foo you

24) Never call ratchet a candy cane

He'll go wrench foo on your aft….. Once again

25) Never give Wheeljack free explosives

Just don't if you did… RUN LIKE FRAG!

Decepticons

21)Never, EVER ask breakdown if he is in love with bulkhead

you WILL die by his foot or shooting. The last person is hiding in their room refusing to come out

22)Never ever say your carrying megsy sparkling(s)

He'll be excited at first but to the point when the 'sparkling(s)' is showing or kicking and your still flat stomach he'll make you go hours on end of scanning from knockout and try to kill you afterwards. Pretty much it's a death wish

23) Never call starscream a dorito

He'll start whining about it and if you get im mad you'll be at the end of is nal-ray

24) Never call shockwave the red eyed Decepticon and sing it with different lyrics to rudolph the red nose reindeer

He's bore you to death with all the logic. We swear he was killing us slowly with the logic

25) Don't ask Starscream if he uses 'spray on tan'. Just don't.

His nick name is 'Dorito' and he won't be happy

An: no flamers cause flames are for roasting things


	6. Chapter 6

An: Thank you so much for the fav, alerts and reviews. Me and my friends don't owned tf but we wish we did

Decepticon

26) Don't steal Megsys rubber ducky! JUST DON'T Infact, just don't steal anything that will piss him off

Cause you don't want to dodge his shots

27) Dont ask blitzwing: who is the leader They will fight... It's actually quite funny. But you'll get in trouble from megsy because he got a processor ache

28) Do not get the sims 2 mod when you get a transformer for a sim and have Starscream and megsy or any other con with megsy

You have to out run megsy's power cuts from his dark energon starsaber sword or fusion cannon shots.

29) never ask starscream why he looks like a nacho chip

You'll either get a huge head ach and the bots will also and try to kill you or you'll get hurt or you'll get killed

30)Never call dragstrip a stripper just because his name has strip in it.

You really have a death wish, don't you

Autobot

26) Dont give sideswipe candy

27) NEVER EVER in the middle of a meeting with prowl, DON'T say lazerbeak or any other Decepticon name!He will glitch... And you will get a wrench to the helm as a gift from ratchet the hatchet

28) Whenever blurr speaks don't say can you say that a little slower? Then when he slows down say, wait say that again?

29) Never go fan girl or fan boy on any bot with doorwings

They'll avoid you or run away. Bumblebee nor smokescreen will go near us now

30)Never tell the Lambo twins about people pair them up with each other

You'll end up getting pranked….really bad

AN: no flames please cause flames are for roasting marshmallows


	7. Chapter 7

AN: thanks for all the favs, follows and reviews. Me and my friends own nothing but if we use our ocs in the rules.

Autobot base

31) NEVER EVER tell the lambo twins about jazz hands

Poor jazz…. He couldn't even face palm

32) Never go into ratchets room while he is sleeping

He does have wrenches in his room and the does have human ones so don't go in there unless you want to be in the medbay

33) Never do what the mouse did in the movie Barnyard and go into red alerts audio, dressed as a mouse.

Yes it's funny but there will be human size mouse traps around base and you'll have to deal with an unhappy ratchet

34) Never be near any bot that has Praxain in there family, who is in their heat cycle

If your human, stay to the side of the bot hallways cause there will be bots chasing bots. It will be funny but if you bet how long it would take to knock up the other one. The Praxain will be upset a long with the other bot

If your bot RUN ! Run for you life cause if your not bonded to anyone and there is a unbond praxain they will chase you and continue to till you do the deed with them. Same with the human one don't bet on them

35) Don't bring a dog onto base

If you do ironhide will freak out and want to kill the poor thing

Decepticon

31) don't make fun of animated starscream`s voice

Even though he sounds like a mad spongebob, you shouldn't make fun of it…. Or it's your funeral

32) don`t weld lugnuts lips to megsys aft

Even though it's a funny prank and lugnut does act like a kiss aft. You shouldn't do it if unless you want a HUGE DEATH WISH!

33) never watch scary movies with animated skywarp

Poor seeker the last time someone did he tried to hide under our bed….. It was funny and he was cuddly

34) Don't make a megsy costume

He'll think you're making fun of him and he'll try to kill you

35) Never play a prank on any of the cons

Soundwave will find out and tell who ever you played the prank on….. HIDE IF THE CON FINDS OUT!

An: no flames cause flames are for roasting things


	8. Chapter 8

AN: thank you so much for the reviews, follows and favs. I own nothing but my ocs if I use them.

Reviewers:

Princess of dreams: you review made my day XD YES RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

Decepticon base

36) DO NOT and we mean DO NOT go into any seeker room when you hear sounds in the room

Trust us you don't want to see what we seen and what was not in our stomach after seeing what was happening in that room.

37) Don't give coffee to frenzy

He is a VERY hyper minicon when you give it to him, if you end up giving it to him blame rumble or barricade then run to your room and lock yourself in there… till rumble and barricade stops wanting to hurt you for having sound wave hurt them

38) don't make fun of any of starbee's family

Your gonna get hurt if you did, mostly if you make fun of starfire's (one of starbee's older brothers) scar down his face and if his visor was off his broken optic

39) Don't sing one of the songs that never ends

It will annoy the cons and you'll have to dodge blasts and anything thrown at you to shut up and stop singing

40) if your from an altered universe do not quote any lines from the transformers lines if your near one of the cons

You don't want to get hurt if you say the wrong one

Autobot base

36) Don't enter the lambo twins room without knocking

You don't want to know the kinky stuff they are into… you'll get mental images you don't want and you'll get hurt by sunny if he catches you or tell a living soul about it

37) Never mistake agent fowler as agent flower

Everyone was laughing their aft off… we swore his eye wouldn't stop twitching

38) Never make a bumblebee sim and yourself and have them married

He might find out and stay away from you…. He'll be super creep out

39) If you find out about nighthawk and shifter. DON'T tell ratchet

He'll kill them and hurt you….. They are a really cute couple, so keep your mouths shut!

40) Don't make fun of ironhide's reaction when he sees a dog

It is funny when he screams like same but… you'll have to dodge blasts from his HUGE fragging cannons. So don't do that or ironhide will come after you

An: no flames cause flames are for roasting things


	9. Chapter 9

AN: thanks for the reviews, favs and follows we don't own anything but our ocs

Reviewers:

Princess of dreams: Holy frag RUN GIRL!*goes and locks blue in the brig* get in there!

Mayday200: lol okay :3

Decepticon base

41) Never ever try to wrestle with one of the cons holoforms

The holoforms hurts…. a lot, some of us still have bruises from wrestling with breakdown

42) Don't tell the cons any of the pairing that we did of them

They might be mad or grossed out by it…. You might want to run if you do that, it's a death wish

43) don't go under the cons armour with out asking

Yet again it's a death wish….. Though it is funny how they act if you touch a wire, still it's a death wish

44) Don't ask Knockout if he likes Breakdown more then a friend

He'll be come VERY defence of that. Its funny but not I you have him go on for hours

45) Never yell any autobot name during a decepticon meeting

They will go crazy, starting to shoot at anything….. So don't do that

Autobots base

41) DO NOT! I repeat DO NOT bother Shifter while she is drawing.

Nighthawk learned that the hard way….. Poor mech

42) never ever play video games with the lambo twins

It wouldn't end well either way….. Win they'll brag on how they kicked your aft in video games. If they lose they'll accuse you of cheating and pull pranks on you

43) The lambo twins are germophones, so don't tease them when your sick

Its funny at first, with them screaming like femmes… but its not funny getting cybertronian size stuff at you

44) Do not make Nighthawk mad

Cause he will get mad… he'll go cyber ninja on your aft

45) don't make fun of any smaller medics height

You will get hit with a wrench and sometimes not in a good place… yet again poor bulkhead and ratchet

An: no flames cause flames are for roasting things.


	10. Chapter 10

AN: Thanks for all the favs and follow. If you have an idea for a rule please say if you want to :3 We own nothing but our ocs

Reviewers:

Princess of Dreams: I think blues done is heat cycle

Mr. Review: lol I'm glad you like it :3 and thanks for the idea

Autobots base

46) Do not, and I repeat DO NOT make a fool of yourself in front of Optimus Prime

He will give you his "I'm disappointed' look. Trust us you don't want to get that look

47) Don't sing any song that has a bot name in it

I'll get the bot embarrassed and the other bot… aka sunny and sides will make fun of them

48) Don't mess with grimlock's mate

He'll go a rampage to get you for hurt his mate or doing something to her which she didn't want her to do, also she'll mess you up too which her moodswings

49) Never wear one of those jackets which you can zip up and cover your face with which has a skull on it

It'll make red alert go crazy , saying there are living skeleton's on the base though it would be funny, you'll get in trouble by prowler

50) don't tell any fairy tales to prowl

He'll bore you to death and annoy you with asking and explaining about the story

Decepticon base

46) don't mess with Soundwave's minicons

He'll get really mad at you

47) Don't give ravage cat nip

Yes it's funny to see the cybertronian cat high but you'll get in trouble by Soundwave if he found out if it was you.

48) Don't blame Frenzy or Rumble for anything when around Soundwave

A both twins will be mad at you and B you'll get in sh- trouble for lying to him

49) Don't sing any annoying sound around the cons

If you do then run like fu- Frag and hide where they can't find you

50) get the frag out of the zombie cons away

They are not awesome when they are chasing you if any part of them fell off, they'll move faster then the zombie con

AN: if you like the story please review. No flamers cause flames are for roasting marshmallows


	11. Chapter 11

AN: thanks for the reviews, favs and follow. We owned nothing but our ocs

Reviewers:

Princess of dreams: a good story you should sigh up here :D

Decepticon base:

51) Never tie wind chimes to any of the cons

Even though it funny at first. Then it'll get really, really, really annoying after awhile

52) Never mix up rumble and frenzy

They'll get mad and pull pranks on you while sleeping

53) Never make fun of a pregnant con

You'll either have to deal with that con or with his or hers mate

54) Never say that megsy has a huge unibrow

You'll either have to hide in your room, end up in the medbay or dodging megsy's shots from his fusioncannon

55) Never ask Tfa lugnut who is a better lead between the fallen or megsy

He'll go crazy saying both are get leaders and make him go more crazy when you asked him to asked to pick one

Autobot base:

51) Never ever say bumblebee's name in front of tiabee

It'll make her squeal and she'll never talk to you

52) Never come between a praxain and the bot they are chasing

You'll end up in the medbay hurt… for a long, long , long time

53) same as a con rule, never make fun of a pregnant bot

The same thing will happen and the other bots will be very upset with you

54) never tell any bot the weird pair people have put them with

They might try to either a make you end up in the medbay or the bot will avoid you and the bot that they were pair with.

55) never ever bring up bumblebee screaming like a girl in TFA

He'll go and pout in the corner…. Which is really cute at times

AN: no flamers please cause flames are for roasting marshmallows


	12. Chapter 12

AN: yes im alive. Writers block curse you. Anywho any ocs in here belong to my friends on DA or mine. Some of my friends on DA help make up the rules :D. Don't own tf

Princess of dream: Mkay~

Autobot's base

56) Don't scratch sunstreakers paintjob

He'll either try to kill you or prank you very badly

57) Don't play any destiny's child songs when TFP Smokescreen comes into the room

Please just don't… for primus sake don't!

58) Do not take Moonburst's teddy bear

She'll start crying and you have to deal with a very unhappy daddy

59) don't ever asked Skyla why her optics are red

Someone did and somehow ended up on the nemesis alone

60) Watch out for KH's cat ravage or FR

He'll pop out of no were and be on your head or face. He's a ninja kitty….. You can't stay mad at the kitty hes too cute!

Decepticon's base

56) Don't make fun of Darkscream's chest and how big it is.

Radioactive did that once and Hotstreak is till trying to fix his arms….. don't do that~

57) If you fine out that Hotstreak loves Justin Bieber don't make fun of himhe'll try to kill you and he'll fine you

58) Never ever! Tell knockout that he has a scratch on his back

It will make him go crazy and try to fix it even though he can't reach it.

59) Don't touch Soundwave's ACDC albums

He'll call you and hang up every 1 to 3 hours for the next 8 weeks. That means he'll do that at night time too

60)Don't make fun of starfire scarred face or smashed optic.

Cause his siblings and him will mess you up…. So don't do that

An: please no flamers cause flames are for roasting marshmellows


End file.
